We live in a society where sex centers more on what makes it pleasurable for men, and women’s pleasures usually don’t get enough attention. We don’t usually invest much energy discussing vaginas or female delight, so even ladies themselves are sometimes unaware of how their bodies work, what feels great in bed, and how to have climaxes during sex. Here is some sound advice on how to get better in bed for guys and pleasure your lover, straight from a sex coach:
Take as Much Time as Needed
To improve sex for your woman, establish an atmosphere where she realizes she has the opportunity to concentrate and unwind. Eliminate all interruptions and obligations, including work, kids, TV, and any everyday tasks. Make sure to help her get her tasks done, so she can concentrate for a little while (or an entire end of the week) simply on herself.
By supporting her in realizing she has the opportunity to relax, you are holding space for her to start appreciating sex. Being hurried, occupied, or upset can be unpleasant for her and make it harder to feel good about sex. Giving her time to enjoy herself shows her you’re sensitive about her feelings.
Focus on Her Needs
Of course, orgasms feel good. However, it can dampen her pleasure when she feels expected to perform quickly from there on for you. For some women, orgasms can be unfulfilling if there’s no deeper connection within them.
Instead, try caressing her entire body with long strokes to stimulate her. A non-responsive and stiff lover is difficult to motivate and stimulate. By using long strokes on her entire body and allowing her to relax and warm up to you, you’re telling her that she has all the time to enjoy the deed with you.
Guide Her Body
Discover erogenous zones on her body including, neck, shoulders, scalp, ears, tummy, internal thighs, arms, back, backside, and feet. Have a go at trying different things with speed or tension. Feather-light touch can feel pleasant now though irritating later. Ask her what she wants and follow her lead.
Let Her Tell You When She’s Ready
Keep in mind that communication is also important when it comes to intimacy, particularly for sexual touch. Begin slowly, then increase your speed. Use a quality vaginal lubricant, as dry fingers on private areas do not feel good. (Yes, most vaginas require lubricant! That’s not a sign of how great of a lover you are or how turned on your partner is—it is simply how vaginas work.) You can ask how she prefers to be felt or let her show you.
Focus on the Clitoris
Concentrate on her vulva (outer and inner lips) and her clitoris—not her vagina (which is inside). If you want to help her have an orgasm, concentrate on pleasuring her clitoris. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and most of them couldn’t have an orgasm from just a vaginal stimulation.
Use Toys
First, let her relax: That could allow her to give in to an orgasmic episode. The use of a strong vibrator on the clitoris could improve this process. Using toys when having sex creates a chance for her to open up sexually while alleviating pressure off you to be the only provider—particularly if she prefers extended play. A few women could have an hour or more of play before even having an orgasm, and prolonging her pleasure could be better than an orgasm.
Invite Her to Participate in the Process
Do you want to know how to get better in bed for guys and make your partner climax? Ask questions and motivate her to open up herself, her sexual desires, and needs. Sometimes, simply the right mixture of relaxation, technique, and time leads to satisfaction and orgasms.